It has just occurred to me how screwed I am in the way of my GPA. I mean MAN is it bad, and, what's worse, is that in spite of how silly (well, not entirely) a system of measuring achievement, it's going to prevent me from having what could have been a much easier time in applying to a number of schools of interest to me.

Ack, I hate school. Why oh why did I not think about this in advance of me being screwed.

This only leads to my further resentment of people doing better than me. It shouldn't, this is unreasonable and uncalled for, but I'm annoyed.

I'm so depressed. The Harvard Summer School is over. It's not even really over, but I'm done. I didn't even really get to say a whole lot of goodbyes. I guess that's one way it differed a lot from my other summer programs, namely LPC. People seem so much more detatched, but at the same time, it's much much easier to keep in touch with people from this program because they're all as connected to the internet as any other, and everybody uses AIM and whatnot.

Even still. I missed out on the last dinner2 of the summer, and now, I get to spend a not-so-joyous weekend with my family in Maine. I like Maine, I don't like my family, and surely, that says something is wrong.

Well, off to sleep, I need to be awake at around 8:00 in the morning. Good thing I don't need to do much tomorrow, because I'm going to be out.

Earlier today I was watching the Summer School Orchestra (Look at me, I'm so sophisticated and refined. I attend Harvard classes, and watch orchestras and more...) Immediately preceding this, I got to thinking about how I go about with keeping in touch with people. What had occurred to me was that the conversation I was having may very well be the last time I see that person, ever, in my entire life. That really threw me, I mean, when I get to thinking some more, that's pretty much how everything works, so far, for me. Consider school, I begin with elementary school and at the end of 6th grade, there was a fairly reasonable chance that it was the last time I would really ever interact with the people I knew who weren't going to Parker like I was (although in a tiny town like Harvard, that's rather unlikely.) Ok, so now that it has occurred to me that this is a terrible example, I will instead refer to the end of high school. I might very well never see anybody from my home town ever again after I leave high school. Why would I? There are very very limited circumstances in which I would even maintain regular contact with people. It's not like I'm wonderful friends with the majority of my classmates, so that eliminates most of them from future contact, and then there are those who I consider myself to be pretty good friends with. Suddenly, my communication becomes limited to primarily email and instant messages, and maybe phone (I personally am suspicious that making a lot of phone calls will be within the realm of possibility), or other relatively impersonal communications. Try as I might, it does make it somewhat difficult, does it not? So all of a sudden, I am mostly disconnected from all the people I've known for the last 4 to 12 years.

Personally, I find that somewhat alarming. In a sense, for example, most of the people I've met here at the Harvard Summer School, may very well be, to put it into Fight Club terms, single-serving friends.

Earlier today I was watching the Summer School Orchestra (Look at me, I'm so sophisticated and refined. I attend Harvard classes, and watch orchestras and more...) Immediately preceding this, I got to thinking about how I go about with keeping in touch with people. What had occurred to me was that the conversation I was having may very well be the last time I see that person, ever, in my entire life. That really threw me, I mean, when I get to thinking some more, that's pretty much how everything works, so far, for me. Consider school, I begin with elementary school and at the end of 6th grade, there was a fairly reasonable chance that it was the last time I would really ever interact with the people I knew who weren't going to Parker like I was (although in a tiny town like Harvard, that's rather unlikely.) Ok, so now that it has occurred to me that this is a terrible example, I will instead refer to the end of high school. I might very well never see anybody from my home town ever again after I leave high school. Why would I? There are very very limited circumstances in which I would even maintain regular contact with people. It's not like I'm wonderful friends with the majority of my classmates, so that eliminates most of them from future contact, and then there are those who I consider myself to be pretty good friends with. Suddenly, my communication becomes limited to primarily email and instant messages, and maybe phone (I personally am suspicious that making a lot of phone calls will be within the realm of possibility), or other relatively impersonal communications. Try as I might, it does make it somewhat difficult, does it not? So all of a sudden, I am mostly disconnected from all the people I've known for the last 4 to 12 years.

Personally, I find that somewhat alarming. In a sense, for example, most of the people I've met here at the Harvard Summer School, may very well be, to put it into Fight Club terms, single-serving friends.