Wednesday, April 18, 2001
Anyway, I also later discovered that it snowed a litle this morning, before I woke up (at around 11:something). Apparently, my absolute denial that it's still winter, has changed around my body chemistry so I don't think it's cold out anymore. Weird, yet cool. I like the cold anyway.
Tuesday, April 17, 2001
Anyway, I've been screwing around since last Friday, and have suddenly realized how much work I need to get done this "vacation." So, time to buckle down and torture myself though some number of hours of homework.
Sunday, April 15, 2001
Maybe it's the lack of sleep talking, I don't know. Before I get to announcements, I'll get to random occurences. I just finished watching Dead Poet Society. That's a good movie. I watched it after I watched The Sixth Day, another good movie. DPS was a movie that really seemed to impact me, although I personally can not explain why.
Anyhow, the statement is this. Nothing good has come of this blog. Ever. I rack my brains for positive effects of me taking the time to write this, and can think of but one, which is that it is a way for me to spend time writing, which is probably a good thing, however, the choice by myself to bother to publish it has resulted in very little other good. Ok, so I've enountered a few new people as a result, but still, negative results are far greater. By writing, I inadvertently piss the hell out of people, which I don't want to do. I mean, I've learned by now, that it's generally a better idea to piss somebody off to their face, or have them be even more pissed off by not doing so. No good comes of me making my life a publicly documented event.
I mean, there's only about 6 (random low number) people who actually read with any regularity, but the people who read it "regularly" don't necessarily read regularly enough to keep up with all that's said, so they end up misinterpreting something that I correct in a later post. Expressing ideas is better done in person, because I never get any response from people who I don't see in person, or talk to directly through other means. I just feel challenged at this point in my life to justify the time spent writing what's on my mind, from time to time. And don't tell me in person, because I don't want to hear about it directly to me (directly meaning in real time, ruling out face-to-face encounters as well as online "chat"). Instead, use the damn discuss thing that I bothered to leave there. If I can't justify keeping this up, it's just not going to happen. I'll write a private fucking journal, I'll be more inclined to be more open there.
Maybe I'll write more in the event of a cataclysmic event in my life. Oh, wait, no, that'd have to be the apocalypse, because my life is incredibly boring. There is nothing in it of any substance. So a while ago, I was writing an essay applying to a summer college scholarship thing at Cornell, and I had to write an essay on what I was most proud of myself, but I couldn't think of anything I felt enough pride about to write about. Sure, I've done some stuff unusual, such as getting a 5 on the AP Exam as a sophomore in high school, but... it's just a test. I don't feel that it's that much of an accomplishment. I never have pride in my work or accomplishments. I don't feel that anything happens as a result of me doing something. My existence seems inconsequential.
I suppose now I will just wait to see the results of writing all that, the response, if any, that I get, will surely be of the variety that I don't particularly care about anyway. That's all it ever is.