Saturday, March 31, 2001

Saturday Night. I'm so bored. Got nothin' to do. This is sad.

Choices:
1. Waste time through watching TV, chatting on AIM, listening to mp3s, and playing computer games.
2. Get something productive done, such as reading any number of books I need to finish, or installing the hard drive I need to install.
3. Sleep.

Hmmm.... what fun.

Thursday, March 29, 2001

Man, how fucking stupid are people? Really? Ok, so I was getting a ride home from school today from a friend, and when we walked out to the parking lot, we discover on his rear window, is drawn in some form of red substance, a giant dick. What the fuck is wrong with people?

Another thing that bugs me is this: when people say "I'm sorry" in an effort to not be rude and be sympathetic and whatever else, but not mean it. Ok, so I'll tell them, "Wow, I did really bad in the stock game today. I think I'm 2nd place to you now." To which they will respond "I'm sorry." No, actually it's usually more of a "im sorry" because people are so god damn lazy in typing, but this is one of my lesser concerns. They aren't actually sorry. They've been waiting for the moment where I fucked up and dropped out of first place for weeks. I don't want to be spoon-fed bullshit about how they sympathize with my really bad performance, because in honesty, they've just been waiting to take my place at the top. This isn't a personal attack on that person, so much as an example that occurred today, and is therefore fresher in my memory of less than 6 hours. (Today, by last period, I had forgotten what I did in first period, that's less than a 6 hour difference.)

There are situations where saying "I'm sorry." is appropriate, I just don't want to presented with a ceaseless stream of lies and feigned sympathy. Anywhooo.... that's it for now. Now I get to have the fun and pleasure of reading the first half of As I Lay Dying by Faulkner for my test tomorrow. Whoopee.

Tuesday, March 27, 2001

I am pissed off.Argh. This stupid stock game is driving me nuts. That bastard Tyo has got the most cash. I’ve got the most % return. The only reason he has more cash is because nobody decided to mention to me that there was a prize for most cash. So, in the week between creation of portfolios and the start of the competition I was reckless.

Well, now I can wait, coast and win most % return… but not most cash… or I can do something else. I could go for broke, continue day trading, and try to race for most cash, which is possible, but if I screw up, I lose what I’ve got (bird in the hand worth two in the bush… hmmm). I could sabotage Tyo too… try to hack his password, sabotage his account… it can’t be that hard to do… I’ve done it before once.

I’m still pissed about this competition thing. Where has all the competition gone? I hate all this bullshit about everybody being a winner. Stop sheltering all these kids from the experience of loss. It’s going to happen. Why let them go isolated from real emotion for so long? I hate it when people say that we should just let it go as a tie, and everybody wins. There need to be losers, and there need to be winners. Sure, I get pissed when I lose, but who doesn’t? It’s bound to happen, I can’t always win. That’s just not right.

Monday, March 26, 2001

There are only a few shows I watch on TV with any sort of regularity. Those shows are Malcom in the Middle, Farscape, and Boston Public. Occasionally, when it's new, or when I'm bored, I'll watch SNL.

These are all really good shows. I mean, they've all got their own aspects which keep me intruiged. Malcom in the Middle is outright funny. Farscape has an interesting plot, and the entire setting and story and everything continue to impress me for a show that's not on broadcast television. As for Boston Public, I suppose it's the ever present set of moral dillemas that gets presented to the characters. They're interesting. I often find myself wondering, "what would I do there..."

I don't know why I felt inspired to write this particular blog. I have another 30 something pages to read of the Grapes of Wrath, I need to do the dishes, and finally, I have to revise two articles for journalism by tomorow. Ok, well, I really only have to revise one, and make a couple spelling corrections in the other.

In any case, quick question: I need some feedback: Is 65$ for this hard drive a good deal? Respond by clicking that little "discuss" link. Sure, it is used, but it's got a lifetime warranty (I think...), and for me there's no shipping costs. I'm too lazy and/or too busy to do the research myself.

Sunday, March 25, 2001

Just a thought: How is that I can hammer out a couple pages of angry complaint in 15 minutes, but I can't write a half-page review of a play for so much more?

Oh, that's right, I care about one, but unfortunately the one I care about isn't the one I'm getting a grade on.

Isn't it great how teachers can assign work to a student, for example, write a play review for Journalism class, but not ever actually go over how to write a review of any sort in class? And just wait, that's not the best part. The better part is that not only is that student forced into writing something they probably don't want to, much less know how to, but they get marked down for turning in work that looks bad, probably because the student had little or no interest in it, and they didn't know how to write the thing they are supposed to write.

Ok, so maybe this is slightly personal, but my Journalism grade is rapidly descending to absolutely dismal crap, and there's not too much now, that I can do about it.

This all began a few weeks ago when we were picking articles to write for the next edition of the school paper. It happened over the course of two days, and the teacher was clever enough to not fully reveal his requirements until the second day, to absolutely screw students who wanted to get an idea of their options before committing to any particular articles. So anyway, on day one, all we know is that we have to pick some articles, no specific minimum, and the categories we're going over the first day are News, Features, and Opinions/Editorials. In my personal view, those are the preferred ones, because if nothing else, they hold some of my incredibly lacking interest. We go through those, and I choose, wait, no I didn't. I didn't choose to write a column, the class thought it would be funny if I did, and somehow I was assigned it, in spite of the fact that I had no topic, or clue on how to write a column well. I also had some sort of stupid "caffeine sidebar" to a caffeine article that looks like it's getting cut anyway, and in spite of the fact that I was the one who suggested the actual article itself, I was denied the privilege of writing it.

Moving on to the second day, we then had to distribute A&E and Sports articles, however this time, there was a catch. Everybody had to have a minimum of 3 or 4 articles (I don't remember, I think it was 3, but the "caffeine sidebar" that I got stuck with didn't count). So, now I have two articles, I suddenly find that I need two more, but my options are now limited to Sports and A&E. So, as a result, every time he asks if I'm interested in something, I can only reply with statements of disagreement, because I don't have almost any interest in the sports or arts at my school. In any case, there are a bunch presented, and I have to make my decision, so from the extremely limited pool of options, I get what should have been a "News" article, but was classified as sports about a track being built in town, and I get a play review of a play that our school was doing for a Drama competition.

Later that week, the teacher gave out due date sheets, and most of them were reasonable due dates, with the exception of the play review, because he requested a due date that was before the actual presentation of the play. Yeah, review something that hasn’t been shown yet, that’s good. I of course raise this issue, and he says that I should do it whenever the play is shown. Great for me, huh?

Of course, that’s not the worst of it… all the while, my earlier deadlines, for the track article, and my “column” have resulted in terrible articles, due in part out of ignorance, and in part out of lack of work ethic, among other things. In the case of the column, I had nothing to write about. At the first due date, there was absolutely nothing that I had any significant opinion on to present to the school. So, because of my abject lack of subject matter, I turned in an article that got me a grade just barely above failing. Lucky (except that it was too late to help) for me, the science fair occurred between the due date for grading, and the due date for publication, and I have since been able to conjure up a decent opinion on that.

As for the track article, that turned out dismally because it didn’t really occur to write it as a news article, because it was in the “Sports” category. That and I personally didn’t force myself into putting any substantial amount of effort because I had no interest in it whatsoever. This was the kind of article that should have been assigned to the person who actually cared.

Ok, so to summarize up to now, my journalism grade is bad, and it’s bad because my journalism teacher seems to have some sort of misguided impression of my interests and abilities, and has furthermore consistently given me assignments which I personally don’t think I can fulfill in any reasonable amount of time or effort.

I think I’ve said most of this before in the blog, although I don’t’ know if it was read, and what I’m sure that most of the almost nonexistent population who actually do read this are thinking is why don’t I raise these issues with my teacher. Well, the reason now, is because it’s too late, the due date being tomorrow, and today being a Sunday. The reason before is because I’m a moron, and a moron who likes to view himself as the victim of the worlds horrible ways, no less, but there’s really nothing left to be done. I’ve got to get back to writing my play review now, which I actually had to pay money to write, so not only is this review costing me my grade, it also cost me 6 hard earned bucks. Actually, it wasn’t my money, but I’m sure my parents wouldn’t approve of the concept of me spending their money to get a bad grade.

And best of all, the people who know me in school, don't ever take anything I do or say seriously, because it's just another one of "Crazy Yoda's bitter ramblings." I'm not fucking Yoda, I'm not a fucking Sherpa, I'm not fucking Tacohead. Maybe the reason I'm always so angry and bitter is because I can hardly stand the sight of my peers and manage to fight the urge to vomit that comes as a reaction. Ok, so that's an exaggeration, but the point will hopefully not be lost. I may not seem like I hate the sight of you when I talk to you, but for a lot of you, you can rest assured that I do. I guess that's one of those lessons you learn in school, but not in classes. How do deal with interacting with people you don't want to.

*** Note added a few minutes after the original publication of this entry: Most of that last paragraph is a bit of a... hyperbole, and shouldn't be regarded too seriously, and another note, much of my lack of social graces probably stems from the fact that I don't ever get enough sleep during the week.***